Computers Quotations
Sometimes You Simply Need to Laugh

Computers. Love them or hate them - they have changed the way we do business, communicate, shop, play and even how we interact with friends and family.

Many of us spend far too much time in front of them, and every so often they seem bent and determined to make our lives hell.

When that happens, don't tear you hair out. Take some much needed TimeOut and let yourself smile through gritted teeth with these computers quotations - taken right out of the mouths of users and developers alike.

Amongst my little selectionn of computers quotations you can find the irreverent and the scurrilous, the serious and the decidedly tongue-in-cheek. And I'm sure that even if you haven't heard of the people who are responsible for these computers quotations, you'll easily recognise the sentiment behind them.

Dr Sue's Favourite Computers Quotations

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
Robert Orben

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Andy Rooney

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Jef Raskin

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Rich Cook

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Isaac Asimov

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Al Goodman

Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?
Clifford Stoll

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
James Magary

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Doug Larson

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Robert X. Cringley

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Nathaniel Borenstein

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
E.W. Dijkstra

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest.
Isaac Asimov

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
E.W. Dijkstra

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image.
Stephen Hawking



And last but not least, in this list of my favourite computers quotations, is a pronouncement made, in 1977, by Ken Olsen, President of Digital Equipment:
There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.
For my money, this is almost as good as There will be no hurricane in Britain tonight. Wouldn't you agree?









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